How in the hell did Vikram Seth write 591,552 words?

OK, I will admit it. I didn’t think writing a book would be that difficult. I thought the quality would probably be questionable, but I had no doubt whatsoever that I would eventually write about 150,000 words (or 591,553 words if I am hoping to outnumber Vikram Seth's A Suitable Boy) followed by THE END.

When you read a book, it all seems so simple. Introduce a few characters, make them do a few things, throw in a disaster/catastrophe/love triangle, resolve it or kill them all off. THE END.

Hmmm. So far my ‘SCRAP’ document, where I discard my unwanted words, is up to 25,000 words and counting. About five times the size of my actual novel. The problem seems to be that little voice in the back of my head that says “That’s crap”. It’s very persistent and hard to ignore, a close cousin of the “Go on, just one more glass of wine” voice.

I can practically hear the mocking laughter of published authors the world over. "What, you thought this was going to be EASY?! For God's sake, you only need to take a look at what happened to Sylvia Plath to know this writing caper is simply TORTUROUS".

I read somewhere that it can help when you are writing a book to go to your local book store, scour the shelves, find yourself a handful of novels that you would consider as BAD writing, and then say to yourself “Well if they managed to actually finish writing a novel AND get it published, surely it can't be that bloody hard”.

So, vowing not to let the That's Crap voice win, I wandered down to Oxford Street and went to Riverbend Books. Scoured the shelves. Realised quite quickly that I was probably better off going to ‘Bargain Books’ or some other such quality book store and scouting through the $2 bin at the front.

Instead I went to the general fiction section that contains all the books written by authors whose surnames start with T.  Closed my eyes and imagined my book on the bookshelf somewhere between Tropper and Tyszka. Tried not to be intimidated.

Can’t you just see it? “The Best Book in the World” (just a working title at present) by Kathryn Tyrrell.  Can’t say that I did. But maybe I will after my date with Bargain Books.