My lack of discretion

Today I read an article called "The Working Mothers Guide to Writing a Novel". I am not a mother and soon will not be working, but I read with interest how an American woman called Mary McNamara wrote a book while raising three young children and working full time. Bloody amazing effort I say.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv/la-et-mary-mcnamara-20100926,0,6312255.story

She offers a list of what she thinks people in the same boat need to do. I read item number nine with particular interest:

9. Discretion. Of course you want to tell everyone that you're writing a book, and whoever you tell will then be forced to ask what it's about (only a few will honestly care, by the way). But talking about writing a book is not, as it turns out, the same as writing a book. In fact, it often proves to be the opposite of writing a book

Now discretion is something I have clearly thrown to the wind since deciding I am going to take time off to write my novel. I have told anyone and everyone who will listen - but this is just what I need to do in order to make it happen. Once I have told people that I am doing something, I feel personally committed to it. If I kept it to myself, I would continue with the excuses and never do it. So hence my blog and practically hiring the sky writer.

What I am slowly discovering with writers is that everyone is very different in their approach. Some writers can only stare at a blank wall to write. Some meticulously map out their plot and characters for months before typing a single word, others just start writing and let the book take shape as they go. Kate Grenville only writes 400 words per day, Simon Higgins wrote one of his novels in two weeks. Some writers hand write everything before typing it up (writers cramp 101).

One of the ladies I met last Thursday told me that she hasn't told anyone about her book apart from her hubby - she is too scared of what people are going to say, of the knowing "get your head out of the clouds" look. I have found the exact opposite - I am actually yet to come across a naysayer. Everyone seems to be genuinely excited for me - maybe it is the fact that I lead in with the "I am taking six months off work" component before the "I am writing a book".

It would be nice if there was a tried and tested method - but like everything, there are a million ways to skin a cat. Don't worry Roary, you're safe....for now.

The book or Bora Bora?

On Thursday night I went along to an author event at the Queensland Writers Centre where Simon Higgins was talking about how to make a living from being a writer. Simon writes novels for young adults, most recently with an overriding ninja theme - so probably the polar opposite of the type of book I am going to write, unless I make my hero an Iaido expert. I struggle to find the martial arts sexy though, so that is unlikely.

Anyway, Simon has had something like 11 books published, both here and in the United States. And he still has to keep a day job to pay his bills. I almost fell off my chair when he said that he gets $1 for every one of this books that sells. My god, McDonalds are making more profit from a cheeseburger!

This got me to thinking about my break even point of this whole creative exercise. I did a quick calculation of what I think this six month writing stint is going to cost me; I tallied up my lost wages, lost super, no paid annual leave, the amount of my savings I think I am going to burn through, and a bottle of wine/vodka per day (to get the creative juices flowing) and I came up with something around the $110,000 mark. (Cut to image of Kathryn lying on the beach in Bora Bora for 6 months, which would probably be cheaper).

Now maths has never been my strong point - those of you who were in High School with me may fondly remember my ever-patient maths tutor Rob L'Estrange, who once walked out on me after five minutes due to pure frustration. But even I can work out that at $1 per book, to break even I not only have to somehow get published but I need to sell a copy of my book to practically the entire population of Townsville.

I recently read that Peter Andre's lovely ex-wife Katie Price (AKA Jordan) was on top of the best sellers list in the UK with her latest book Paradise, written by a ghost writer. To be on the best sellers list, she sold 10,000 copies of her book in one week.  So all I really need to do is somehow get myself on the UK best sellers list for, oh, about five years in order to make enough money to never have to work again. I will really need to step up the shameless self marketing - maybe I will take some tips from Katie. The bikini is already on order.

The fact that 10,000 people bought the ghost written book of a former topless model in one week is a blog entry entirely on its own.

The QWC event was not totally a wrist slitting exercise though - I actually exchanged emails with a couple of fellow writers and there was talk of a coffee catch up - so perhaps I will be sipping Lattes and talking punctuation and all things creative before I know it.

The bribe worked

I wonder if I will ever find out if the excitement of getting your first novel published is anywhere close to the excitement of getting your first blog follower? Even though my first blog follower was my sister Elissa (sisterly love in action) it was still bloody exciting. And now 11 devoted family and friends have joined the ranks – in the words of Jeff Fenech, I love youse all!

I promise not to name any nasty characters in my book after any of you as a sign of my heartfelt appreciation.

So, what is your book about?

A lot of people at work have been asking me what my book is about. I really have no inclination to share this with my work colleagues, so I keep telling them it is a non-fiction book called 'The Office'. Funny how everyone is acting so nice to me all of a sudden.

That thing called Synchronicity

When I first read about Synchronicity in The Artists Way I thought, yep, I want some of that. Its like the Universe making things happen to show it supports you - like telling your sisters best friend that you are writing a book and lo and behold she is related to some amazing publisher. I think there is a higher probability of success with potential synchronicity than the adoption method. Maybe just writing my blog will generate some goodwill in the world as well.

So I've been on the lookout for some synchronicity in my life. And I when it happened it was actually quite significant. From a career perspective. Which isn't the type of synchronicty I was really looking for but let's not get hung up on the details.

I was pretty nervous about asking my bosses (yes, there are two of them) for six months off work so I could write a novel. Nervous but also determined - I didn't tell them this, but if they had said No I was ready to resign. I feel strongly that I want to do this in my life, and do it now. I have never been a patient person, never been one to use lay-by, so it is unlikely that I am going to develop this enviable trait at the age of 33. I was also fully prepared to drop the "lets pretend I am pregnant and going on maternity leave and then you wouldn't even have a choice about it..except instead of giving birth to a baby I'm giving birth to a book" statement but thankfully I didn't need to - they were nothing but supportive. As well as being great people, I also like to think it is some good kharma for all the hours I have worked over the last 3.5 years (ie they could probably pay me a full time rate for the next 6 months and it wouldn't quite cover the salary of my extra hours...hint hint).

And then the Synchroncity happened. I said to Boss 1, the Marketing Director for Australia and New Zealand, that, actually, I am kind of tired of my job, and when I come back it would be great if I could do something different. And she said (OK, not word for word but something along the lines of) "Funny you should say that, I have been asked to take on a global project for the next 2-3 years. How about coming and helping me out in Corporate so I can go off and do this job?". And that was it. A new job presented itself and before I knew it my current role is on Seek and I am starting interviews next week.

I have never had to replace myself before. It is quite a strange concept. While I want to get the best possible Manager for my team, I also don't want to get anyone who is too good and will show me up. A fine line.

The end of Corporate Girl could come sooner than I think - Boss 1 wants me to head off and do my creative thing as soon as I have found my replacement, which could be within a month. I am working up a sweat just thinking about it. The true test of whether I am a fraud or not is imminent. Fingers crossed for some creative synchronicity next!

Corporate Girl seeks famous publisher for adoption

A couple of weeks ago in a fit of creative energy I decided to join the Queensland Writers Centre. I thought - if I am going to take this writing business seriously, I should at least join my local industry association (the Corporate part of me is really going down kicking and screaming). I must admit to having some vague visions of myself sitting around in coffee shops with fellow writers I met at QWC, plotting charachters, discussing punctuation and being generally all very creative.


Looking the part is important. I also want to get a pair of glasses to complete my intelligent author image, but I had my eyes tested and I have 20/20 vision. Very disappointing.

After joining QWC I discovered that the Brisbane Writers Festival was on this weekend just past so I decided to head along and see what advice and inspiration I could stumble across.

What I discovered is if I am ever to get my book published I have to be related to someone in the publishing industry - someone very, very important in the publishing industry. Alternatively being the daughter of a past Prime Minister could be quite handy. Mum and Dad, as much as I love you, I may need to seek an adoption. If that fails I need to have a hell of a lot of luck and a lot of industry contacts. Since my chances of adoption at 33 are slim to none, I am going to hope that my luck didn't run out when I won Division 3 in the lotto when I was 21.

The session on "How to Get Published" was nothing short of scary. Scary enough to make me realise that I had better hold bloody tight to my job while I write this book as I ain't ever gonna make a living out of this creative business! As much as they tried to be positive and upbeat about our chances, there was really only one person on the panel that was a total unknown with no contacts in the industry before she got published - her tactic was to practically tackle a publisher at a book festival. Probably not my style but ask me again after I have written my book and am totally desperate for someone to publish it.

Perhaps I am jumping the gun a little. Might just focus on writing the book first and worry about the adoption papers later.

And in case you were wondering, no, I didnt meet any fellow QWC members, didn't plot any charachters or sit around discussing punctuation in any coffee shops. I didnt even head up to the QWC to say hi - I haven't quite convinced myself I am not a writing fraud just yet.

Trouble

If my dedication to this blog is any indication of my future sucess as an author, I had better not give up my day job after all.